History shows that, when times are hard, false prophets can persuade those who are suffering to blame the “other” rather than the ones who are the true source of their misery. And cause them to use their precious vote in ways that challenge more liberal values. But if we merely condemn such choices, we have no hope of turning the ugly tide lapping our shores. After the results of Brexit and the US presidency, I have come to realise that we need to judge less and listen much more so that we can understand why people are so angry with the established order.
This year we lost far too many extraordinary people, including the wonderful Jo Cox MP. She wasn’t afraid to work with those on the opposite side of the political divide nor to challenge orthodox views. I have concluded that members of political parties who spend all their time arguing or blaming one another rather than seeking common cause, as Jo did, are a major part of why so many are mistrustful of politicians.
This month, the government announced that, as a society, we are not doing enough to prevent suicide. And that there will be league tables published soon to show which areas are lagging most. As one who devotes time to volunteer in suicide prevention, I find this extraordinary. We can do a great deal to reduce the incidence of suicide by tackling stigma, offering education and training and supporting voluntary services such as the Samaritans. But ignoring the main reasons for the rise in the rate of suicide is dishonest. Benefit sanctions, fitness to work assessments and cuts in social care support are causing hunger, homelessness, and shame from being a burden amongst the most vulnerable of our fellow citizens. And for a growing number, the only options at night are a tent, a homeless shelter or a shop doorway. No wonder that life feels increasingly unbearable to some.
And while the government congratulates itself on low rates of unemployment, zero hours contracts and minimum wages are directly causing the rise in reliance on food banks, payday loans and other expensive credit. It is not refugees or so-called benefit scroungers we need to fear. It is people who “create value” (what a meaningless and loathsome phrase) from the misery of others. The Mike Ashleys and Philip Greens of this world. And the Rupert Murdochs and Paul Dacres who would have us believe that fear of the other, rather than compassion for our fellow citizens, is what should drive us. But I realise that grumbling to those who already agree with me is not enough. I’m going to do better in 2017.
I have been learning how to apply the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) to use in my practice as a coach. I could bore for Europe on this subject, but suffice to say, it has been a revelation. And the greatest insight of all has been finally appreciating at a very personal level what Carl Rogers meant in 1961 when he said: “What I am is good enough, if I would only be it openly.”
I have also been learning how to be a Samaritan. I will be writing more about this next year. All I need say for now is that I gain as least as much as I give, and that the training and support for volunteers is absolutely wonderful. And with all that I mention above, and at this time of year, Samaritans are needed more than ever.
This year, we lost so many wonderful people, including Twitter friends @GrangerKate and @GraceAndGloryDan. I would like to thank Zoe, courageous mother of Adam Bojelian. Adam sadly died last year. And Zoe reminded me that people who are bereaved value nothing more than being given the kindness of time to talk about the person they have lost.
Finally, I have learned that people like pictures of cats. So here is William, my personal pet therapist, to wish you peace at Christmas. And may those who are lost, lonely or grieving find kindness among strangers as well as friends.